When you are one of the parties.
WHY IT IS HARDER
You cannot assess it neutrally and your position affects the other person's freedom to speak.
WHAT TO ESTABLISH
Whether your authority makes honest conversation impossible.
WHY IT MATTERS
Someone who reports to you may agree rather than resolve.
WHAT TO DO
Say explicitly that disagreement is acceptable, and demonstrate it.
WHAT TO EXAMINE FIRST
Your own contribution.
WHY
It is almost always present and it is the part you can change.
WHAT TO ASK YOURSELF
What did I do that contributed How might this look from their position Am I reacting to this person or to the issue Have I actually said what I want
WHY THAT LAST QUESTION
A great deal of conflict comes from expectations never stated.
WHAT TO AVOID
Using your position to end the disagreement Discussing it with others before addressing it with them Allowing it to affect decisions about them
WHY THAT LAST POINT
Decisions influenced by personal conflict are unfair and they are visible to everyone.
WHAT TO ESTABLISH
That assessments and opportunities are based on work.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU CANNOT BE OBJECTIVE
Involve someone else in decisions affecting them.
WHAT TO DO WHEN THE OTHER PARTY IS SENIOR TO YOU
Prepare, focus on the work rather than the relationship, and state the effect on outcomes.
WHY ON OUTCOMES
It is the framing they can act on.
WHAT TO CONSIDER
Whether to raise it, and what the risk is.
WHY IT DESERVES SAYING
Not every conflict with a more senior person is safe to raise, and that is a real consideration.
WHAT TO ESTABLISH
Whether a route exists to raise it with someone else.
