Preparing for contention.
WHEN THIS APPLIES
Disagreements between teams Performance discussions Commercial negotiations Post-incident reviews
WHAT TO ESTABLISH BEFORE
What outcome you need What the other party wants Where agreement is possible
WHAT TO CIRCULATE IN ADVANCE
The purpose The matters to be discussed Any facts everyone should have
WHY IN ADVANCE
Surprise produces defensiveness.
WHAT NOT TO CIRCULATE
Your conclusions, framed as decided.
WHY
It removes the purpose of meeting.
WHAT TO ORDER FIRST
Something on which agreement is likely.
WHY
Early agreement changes the tone.
WHAT TO SEPARATE
Facts from interpretation.
WHY
Most disputes are about interpretation but are argued as facts.
WHAT TO ESTABLISH AT THE START
What everyone agrees on.
WHAT TO ALLOW TIME FOR
The other party to state their position fully.
WHY
Being heard resolves more than being answered.
WHAT TO AVOID
An audience larger than necessary Recording, unless agreed
WHY AUDIENCE SIZE
People defend positions publicly that they would reconsider privately.
WHAT TO END WITH
What is agreed, what is not, and what happens next.
WHAT TO SEND AFTERWARDS
That, in writing, promptly.
