Being told something uncomfortable.
WHAT THE INSTINCT IS
To explain, defend or dismiss.
WHY THAT IS COSTLY
It ends the supply of feedback.
WHAT TO DO INSTEAD
Listen fully.
WHAT TO SAY FIRST
Thank you.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
Ask a question to understand it better.
WHAT A GOOD QUESTION IS
Can you give me an example?
WHY
It converts a general impression into something addressable.
WHAT TO AVOID SAYING
That they misunderstood That the context was unusual That others do the same
WHY
All may be true and none are useful in the moment.
WHAT TO DO IF YOU GENUINELY DISAGREE
Note it, consider it later, and respond then if needed.
WHY LATER
Immediate disagreement is heard as defensiveness regardless of merit.
WHAT TO DO WITH FEEDBACK YOU RECEIVE REPEATEDLY
Act on it.
WHY
Recurrence means it is real.
WHAT TO DO WITH FEEDBACK FROM ONE PERSON ONCE
Consider it, and watch for confirmation.
WHAT TO DO AFTERWARDS
Tell them what you changed.
WHY
It is what makes people willing to tell you again.
WHAT TO ASK FOR ACTIVELY
Specific feedback, after specific work.
