Messages you may regret.
WHAT HAPPENS
Something provokes you, and a reply forms immediately.
WHY IT IS DANGEROUS
Written anger is permanent, forwardable and undeniable.
WHAT TO DO
Write it, and do not send it.
WHY WRITE IT
It discharges the impulse.
WHAT TO DO NEXT
Leave it for a period.
HOW LONG
Hours, at minimum. Overnight, ideally.
WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU RETURN
Read it as the recipient.
WHAT YOU WILL FIND
That most of it should not be sent.
WHAT TO KEEP
The factual substance.
WHAT TO REMOVE
Sarcasm Characterisations of the other person Anything about their motives Exclamation marks
WHY MOTIVES SPECIFICALLY
You do not know them, and asserting them escalates.
WHAT TO REPLACE THEM WITH
What happened, and its effect.
WHAT THAT SOUNDS LIKE
The delay meant we missed the deadline, rather than you clearly did not care.
WHAT TO CONSIDER
Whether it should be a conversation instead.
WHY
Tone survives in speech and does not in writing.
WHAT TO NEVER DO
Copy additional people to make a point.
WHY
It is recognised, and it is remembered longer than the issue.
WHAT TO ASK BEFORE SENDING ANYTHING HEATED
Would I be comfortable with this being read by everyone involved.
